Saturday night, and it's the aftermath of another walk. This one felt a little different though to last week's disorientating snow-scramble up Helvellyn. Sure, it was fun, scenic, peaceful - all the usual stuff I look for in a good Lakeland Trek. But this one was......well......erm......kinda.....it's hard to put my finger on it. Oh, I've got it! It was "5 HOURS OF FEMUR-BENDING, PELVIC-ERODING, METATARSAL-MINCING TORTURE!"
But do you know what? Now that my body has been submerged for 1 hour in a deep bath consisting of 5% water and 95% radox, and my heart-rate no longer sounds like the kind of frantic drum beats that can often be heard bellowing from those Vauxhall Corsa's dressed up in Halford's accessories, I can still look back on today's experience and pigeon-hole it into the "Yeh, that was a good day" box. I like that box, and I think I need to get a bigger one.
So, before I go off on a random tangent and start waffling about today's walk and the plight of the ozone layer, (and my colleagues and friends will tell you that I REALLY can waffle! In fact, I waffle so much, I come with choice of 2 toppings), I guess I must address the question posed in the title of this blog.
Well, I'll start with the physical side-effects first, and most of them, I do warn you now, are not pretty! First and foremost, it's the pain! Starting in your lungs, your ever-increasing pulse seems to accelerate wave after wave of muscle-stretching anguish to every fibre and nerve-ending in your body. Granted, I'm sure this doesn't happen to everyone, especially those "zero-fat" lunatics who actually run up mountains for fun, but I think I represent the average person here. I like a beer or two, enjoy a slab of red-meat when presented with the opportunity. But the thought of spending my life looking like the character from the pepparani adverts just to avoid mountain-induced pain isn't tempting! And I'd probably be as angry as pepparani-guy if I ate the diet these guys probably have to eat to stay that fit, and that thin! Leaves and moss probably!
The aches and pains can stay with you for days, the blisters even longer! And for anyone thinking there's an ounce of glamour in this pastime, forget it! You sweat....a lot! The journey upwards is a constant battle with the perspiration ducts. You start off with 4 layers because you've checked the weather forecast and it looks a little ropey. And then you start the ascent.....and then you turn into an onion! Before you know it, you're peeling off every sweat-drenched layer until you realise that you're actually walking in your Damart thermal underwear, and let's face it, it's no Ann Summers is it? You reach the summit, it's flippin freezing, so you put all the creased clothes that have been crammed in to your woefully small rucksack back on again, along with the obligatory woolly hat. And that hat will truly re-shape even the most rigid, wire-like of hair do's. I'm fortunate not to have a well-stocked barnet, but I have seen hair-styles on those mountains that could only be likened to the aftermath of a Bonfire.......after the Fire Brigade have emptied 1500 litres of water on it!
As for the call of mother nature, well, I think you can use your own imagination there.
So, you're in agony. Your hair looks like a war-zone, you've tinted the snow yellow in front of your sister, and you now have to put the washing machine on before a rainbow forms above your laundry pile. So, I ask myself again......"Why?"
Well, let's turn to the chemical argument, and by this I mean let's venture into your frozen ear and dig deep into the grey matter. Here I'm glad to say, it all starts getting a whole lot better. Let's talk neurotransmitters. Serotonin is released with the elation and happiness of accomplishing a mountain peak. Not just once, but probably every time you recant the story of how good it felt to stand at the summit and gaze upon that fantastic view. No doubt the great outdoors and 6 hours of sun exposure will produce melatonin which helps keep the happy levels above any "danger levels" and avoid those winter "blues". And then there's endorphins which are released when actually doing exercise. Again, bringing about a natural "high" and a feeling of elation. In short, we're starting to feel good.
So, you look like a dinner that the dog turned its nose up to, but hey, you're happy! And that happiness stays so much longer than the aching muscles, blisters and the sweaty/mossy aroma on your Berghaus fleece. Actually, that last part is not true, so just deal with it and buy a can of lynx.
And then there's the "experience", and here I could waffle on for ever and even add a third or fourth flavour to my toppings menu. Experiences evoke memories, and they stay with you forever, and no bio-detergent is ever going to shift them! The changing scenery, the skies, the weather - they all add to the richness of the outing and gives you plenty of waffle-fodder for years to come. It can be a hugely sociable experience, spending hours with a good friend or family member with no interruptions so one can talk until your hearts content. Today for instance we covered relationships, favourite foods and even the funny side of flatulence. And that's quite a subject! You occasionally come across other walkers, and what a smashing bunch of people they all are! Always up for a chat, and happy to share the tales of the mountain, past and present. After all, they are here for the same reasons you are. However, every now and again you will come across a large group of walkers, all of them keenly strolling their way across the baron, steep fellsides, except for the one person who's 60ft behind them and by the look on their face (which can only be likened to a clenched fist), one can tell that they would rather be gorging on a Bic Mac and watching the Hollyoaks Omnibus on this fine Sunday morning. That person clearly isn't enjoying the experience, and probably volunteered themselves for something that sounded like a fun stroll in the park. But I'm sure they will still get the "chemical" thing, and I bet they will be back for more.
But you don't even have to walk with someone to get these benefits. Many people, myself included will take a solitary stroll, deliberately choosing walks where I know I won't bump into dozens of fellow ramblers. Sometimes, you just need a little "me" time, a chance to think and digest the worries of the world and put life back into clear perspective. It's not uncommon to meet perhaps just 1 or 2 people over a 6-hour stroll over certain Lakeland peaks. And who said the Lake District was congested?
I think I'm waffling now, but hopefully you get the picture. In short, it's exercise, but in magical surroundings and who wants to hear about your 90-minute treadmill work out?
So, I guess I should briefly cover today's walk for the benefit of our anonymous solitary reader who wants to know. Well, today's route was, on paper, a medium/hard walk taking in 4 peaks along the long Helvellyn range. However, the Ordnance Survey didn't recognise the official route up to Calfhow Pike, and I don't blame them. It was a full-on slog, with more silent swearing than I've probably ever done before. I thought the west flank of Kirk Fell was tough, but this was in a whole new ball park. Throw in some ice, constantly changing temperatures and the knowledge that this ascent is only taking you to the lowest of today's summits, and you've got yourself a classic ridge walk - a bucket load of pain to get to the ridge plateau, then mile after mile of gentler, undulating slopes which swallow up the "Wainwrights" effortlessly. Superb!
On a closing note, I see we're up to 81 members in our facebook group now which is fantastic! I'm sure you've all got friends who would like to support our group and its causes so please invite as many people as you can. We're relying on you.
The whole group is meeting up soon to finalise details and really get this thing in to top gear. We'll have our justgiving.com link up soon and also full details on the fantastic competition where all people who donate get the chance to guess the exact time it will take us to do the challenge, and possibly win a superb prize!
Thank you for reading, thank you for supporting and let's all make a difference and raise money for our great charities http://www.openarmsinternational.com/ & http://the-holistic-centre.co.uk/content/view/3/5/
The 3-peakers
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